I invite you all to reflect on these questions with me for a few moments: What does it mean to be one? Am I one? What does oneness in community look like?
I am not one and I am not quite sure what being one feels like. Simply, I am incomplete.
Last semester, my soul was so restless. The Lord was calling me to something, but I could not quite hear Him. I went to spiritual direction, talked to my friends endlessly about it, and increased my hours spent in front of the blessed sacrament. Yet, I could never quite figure it out. The Lord was preparing me for something but I had zero idea what or why.
During this time, I was exposed to the prayer “Patient Trust” and I believe it perfectly encompasses what it means to be one or really the lack of being one and how it is ok.
This is it:
From this prayer, I realized that I am simply incomplete. So, I asked the Lord to break my heart, break whatever it is that I have built; and make it His, make my heart one. My heart has a cast on it and that cast causes me to lose sight of who the Lord is calling me to be. I am His beloved, but I am also broken. My heart has casts on it from wounds that never healed properly. Wounds that were created in moments where I have tried to fill my heart by only worldly goods and love. I continue to try to make imperfect love perfect only to realize that only the Lord’s love is perfect.
Anytime I have sat down to pray with this and reflect on my own belovedness and brokenness, I can list so many reasons why I am broken and why I need the Lord. Yet, the only thing that truly makes me beloved is being His.
If we look at Mary, we see the same thing. She was worthy. She was lovely. She was graceful. Mary was all of these things because of Him, our Lord. She gave her heart completely to the Lord and in return, He gave her everything.
The same goes for us - Only He makes us whole. Only He makes us one. Only He satisfies. Only the Lord makes us, as a community, one. We are simply incomplete, but in His loving mercy, He equips us to be enough.
I invite you whatever season you are in, whatever state your heart is in, to ask the King of our Hearts to fulfill you, ask Him to make you one and be ok with being incomplete for the time being. Take this time in prayer to just rest in Him knowing that He is making all things new in His time.
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