To those who feel like they have no one in their corner: keep praying. I was where you once were. I constantly wondered why I couldn’t seem to find my people, why I never felt settled in my friendships, and why I just had an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I kept praying and oh I am so glad I did. The Lord brings you what you need and He has blessed me with some of the most fruitful, virtuous friendships.
Recently, I have been so grateful for the abundance of virtuous women that I am surrounded with at SLU. I think these relationships are so important. We understand our most inner being and can truly open up our heart that holds within it our sorrows and our joys.
When I think of the friendship that I want to strive for, it is Mary and Elizabeth’s as we have seen in the visitation. Their friendship is based on pure joy and rejoicing.
“When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the infant leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, “Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.” Luke 1:41-45
Y’all. How beautiful!! When Mary approached Elizabeth, the infant inside of her literally leaped for joy. We already know how wonderful Mary is that she carries the light of Christ within her, but notice Elizabeth’s reaction. Elizabeth is not envious or doubtful of Mary in the least bit. Her heart explodes with joy at the sight of her dear friend.
In my friendships, this is something I very much strive for. If you are my friend, you know I love you with my entire being. You know this because my heart leaps for joy at the sight of you. The friends we have in our life should be bringing us joy. Our friends should not be doubting who we are, making us question our worth, or bringing us negative energy. Their hearts should be leaping at joy for you. So, chase joy. It is ok to be selfish sometimes and cut off a toxic friendship that is leading you to darkness.
Mary responds to Elizabeth in saying, “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior.” Luke 1:46-47
I love this response for a few reasons, but I love it the most due to Mary’s rejoicing with Elizabeth for the gifts the Lord has given them. In their meeting, Mary and Elizabeth rejoice for one another and with God. They do not delete an instagram picture with one another because it didn’t get enough likes, become envious over another’s accomplishment, or try to put one another down in order to put themselves up. They were not threatened by one another or let self-doubt creep into their relationship. They simply rejoiced. I think in each and every one of our friendships that this is the simple purpose - to rejoice in the sorrows and the joys and in the ordinary.
This friendship that Mary and Elizabeth exude is not one confined to just females. It includes our holy men as well!! You are so important in this equation of virtuous friendships. Our feminie and masculine genius is needed in one another's lives.
Within Mary proclaiming the greatness of the Lord, I believe is another call within friendship - virtuous activities. Find friends who are willing to go to some pretty crazy and soul filling places with you. This can be a local fish fry like St. Cecillias if you are in STL, a praise and worship on a friday night, ice cream with seminarians, waiting to go home for spring break to stay for a Catholic Womens’ Conference, or even sporadically going into a church to pray a rosary after some good barbeque. Find those people who allow you to be who God calls you to be in every moment. Let your friendships glorify God.
Yet, fostering these friendships can be so difficult due to those who have not treated us with the dignity and respect we deserve. I continuously let these past friendships get in the way. My brain has been clouded with so much unnecessary doubt and I have to continually remind myself that I have been loved by God and I know what true love looks like. God has created good men and women and the pressure is off of them to “fulfill” me because I already have a God who loves me so well. I think a trap I have fallen into in the past is thinking that my friends can fill a hole you and I have in our hearts that longs for love, companionship, and belonging.
Yet, there is only ONE person that can fill that hole in your heart that you are longing to be filled - God. You and I are broken. Our love is imperfect. Our friendships are imperfect and will fail us from time to time. We are called to accompany one another, not fulfill one another. This is why it is so important to love others as they are and let them love you as they are!
If you are someone who is searching for this love, know that God is pursuing you now. He knows your heart. Allow Him to show you how much He loves you. Look with gratitude at what He has given you, not what He hasn’t. As Sarah Swafford says, run towards God and glance beside you to see who else is - those are your people.
So, to all my SLU people: Each and every one of you are an answer to a prayer. Thank you for living this out. You have shown me Christ in so many different forms. You have been such an example of what virtuous friendships are and how to properly love one another. Thank you for loving me so well and bringing me so much joy. The Lord has been so so good to me this last month and I think He has been preparing me for this time. So, thank you for giving me something that is so hard to say goodbye to. My heart is aching thinking about not seeing you for 5 months. I am going to miss our Monday nights in community, our Tuesdays praising and adoring our Lord, the noon masses and lunches that follow, the holy hours, the rosaries, the silly card games, the late night donuts, the early Saturday masses and donuts that turn into all afternoon, “studying” on the weekends, pouring our hearts out to one another, west pine hellos, and all the joy. In the end, we were never going to be constant, but the Eucharist that brings us all together is. The Lord is calling us and our gifts somewhere new. Right now is the time we lean on God. He is making some big moves and we have to place our trust in Him more than ever. We can go to daily mass, pray the rosary, be joyful, and adore our Lord still. Even in this mayhem, the Lord is still pursuing us and I can feel that He needs us closer to Him more than ever.
So in the words of Matt Maher, “Joy still comes in the morning. Hope still walks with the hurting. If you're still alive and breathing, praise the Lord.”
*note: I began writing this 3 weeks ago before we found out about the news of not being able to go back to school and with public masses being suspended. I am so glad that the Lord placed this message on my heart and that He was able to turn it into this during our dark time. The Lord has really surprised us all lately, so I want to leave you with a few of His words:
“No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and His love is brought to perfection in us” 1 John 4:12
“When I was with them I protected them in your name that you gave me, and I guarded them, and none of them was lost except the son of destruction, in order that the scripture might be fulfilled.” John 17:12
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